Our Noble Pursuits

Living the good life. And writing about it.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Four Years


* Warning: This post is sentimental.  Some might call it sappy - especially those who don't enjoy a good romance.  If you aren't into that kind of thing, this might not be the post for you.  But I happen to think you'd be missing out on a good thing if you skip it.  Just sayin'.

I have been intending to write this post for three weeks now.  But, as is true with many things that are about the really important things in life, I haven’t been able to do it justice just yet.  Three weeks ago, David and I celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary.  On December 29, 2007, I put on a beautiful white dress and he wore a snazzy suit and we stood before our friends and family and vowed to love, support, and be there for each other forever.  It was a wonderful day.


And the anniversary of that day deserves some attention.  But how to express in words how much walking down that aisle in the symbolic moment that joined my life with his means to me?

Well, fortunately the minister who performed our ceremony – who was a friend of ours from college – gave me the perfect way to capture that day in words.  A couple of months before our wedding, he requested that David and I each write a letter to him, without the other reading it, explaining why we wanted to get married.  He told us it was possible he would use a piece or two from each letter in the ceremony.  Instead, he read our full letters, in their entirety, during the service.  With that reading being the first time either of us had heard the other's letter.  And it was so much more than I ever expected.  So today, as I search for a way to document the importance of my wedding day, it seems appropriate – perfect even – to share a portion (okay, almost all) of those letters here.

Due to their length, I will cut out some parts (namely, the ones where David references the fact that I am older than him and can “sneak him into the nursing home” before his time).  Although those parts did get a laugh out of everyone during the ceremony.  Okay, I’ll leave one of those references in just to prove I’m a good sport.

*Initially, I thought it might be a little too personal to publish the letters in such a public forum.  But then I realized that they have already been heard by about 150 people (many of them, no doubt, those of you who read this blog), so there isn’t really much harm in it.  And David gave the all clear on it too, so why not?

*****

David's Letter:

Why am I marrying Sarah?  I’m marrying Sarah because of the way she loves me.  I’ve never been so loved completely.  She loves every part of me, even the bad parts.  Despite my many character flaws she looks at me and sees nothing but pure gold.  I’ve never felt even the least bit self conscious around her.  Even from the first few dates, I knew I could be my goofy self and she would love me more.  Although this is completely inexplicable to me, she loves me more each day.
 
I’m marrying Sarah because I need her to find my keys, wallet and my phone.  I need her to remind me to take my pills and call my mom.  I don¹t know how I ever went anywhere without her.

I’m marrying Sarah as soon as I can before she realizes she’s out of my league.  Her smile and eyes make me love her new every time I look at her.  She’s so beautiful, I don’t know what I did to deserve her but I’m glad I did.  I’m marrying Sarah because she gets the joke.  She makes me laugh and I make her laugh.  I have to marry her because no one else laughs at my jokes like she does.

I’m marrying Sarah because she knows what’s important.  She doesn’t buy more than she needs.  She shares my values of what’s important.  She wants to spend her time with me. She wants to travel and have a family.  These things are more important than material possessions to us.

I’m marrying Sarah because she makes me happier than I’ve ever been before. For the first time in my life, everything makes sense. I know that God made her just for me.  And two years later he made me just for her.  I’m marrying Sarah because that's what I was born to do.


My Letter:

Why Am I Marrying David?  I am marrying David because, from his very first visit to Kentucky, he swept me off my feet.  He didn’t do this with extravagant gifts or elaborate dates.  Instead, he did it with his gentleness, his sincerity, and his wonderful, charming spirit.  Immediately, I was at ease with David.  And in no moment since our first date have I ever felt self-conscious or insecure in his presence.  It has just always been different with David.  It has always been right, ­ true, genuine, and real.

I am marrying David because he has enabled me to seize the silliness in life.  He has calmed me down and mellowed me.  I have fun with David like I have never had fun with anyone.  He makes me laugh continuously; and his laid back approach to life helps me to relax, go with the flow, and treasure the moment.

I am marrying David because he makes me happier than I’ve ever been. He has this way of knowing what to do or say to give me perspective and lift my spirits.  He always jokes that I’m out of his league, but the truth is that I’m the one who is marrying up.

I am marrying David because I never truly understood what love and commitment were until he came along.  Now I understand why people join their lives together into one family.  I understand what they mean when they say they can’t imagine life without their spouse.  I understand what marriage is supposed to be about ­ what God’s intention was.  I understand it all because of David.  

Why am I marrying David?  Because I love him with all of my heart, I am secure in his love for me, and I feel truly blessed to be the one he has chosen to share a future with.

*****

So the funny thing is, as true as my letter was when I wrote it, more than four years ago, I still mean every single word of it.  I suspect – and hope, of course – that David would say the same thing.  Each year has truly gotten better, and I can’t wait to see what the next year will hold.  There are already paragraphs I could add to my letter relating to how much I love seeing David be a father to Annie.  I’m sure that will only become more intense as we grow as parents. 

I love you, David, and I happen to be a very lucky girl.  (Sigh.)

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