Change

You know what they say about God closing doors and opening windows?  Well, there’s been a whole lot of door closing and window opening around here.  I know lots of people say this, but I really mean it.  I’m not a fan of change.  Change is scary.  Change causes worry and anxiety.  Change brings me face to face with the unknown.  But change can also be exciting.  It can be meaningful.  It can be necessary.  We are in a season of change in our house.

I won’t get into all the details, but the Reader’s Digest version of the latest change around here is that I am not only starting a new job in a couple of weeks, but starting a new career.  I had been unhappy and unfulfilled in my legal career for…well, really, since it started.  I thought maybe changing law firms would help, but it didn’t.  And when I had Annie and went back to work it was like a spotlight was shining on all of the things I didn’t like about what I did for a living.  It's hard to admit that you don't like what you do.  And it's particularly hard to admit that - especially to yourself - when you have spent three years and a lot of money training to do the thing you don't like.  But the time came for me to accept the fact that my feelings about practicing law weren't going to change.

Let me be clear here, there is absolutely nothing wrong with my old career.  It is a worthy profession.  Lots of good, smart, wonderful people do it and do it very well.  I just realized that it wasn’t for me.  And once I saw that, there was kind of no ignoring it.

This face has a way of putting things in perspective.

Here I am, almost 36 years old, with a house, a full on grown up family with husband and new baby and everything, and law school student loan debt.  Doesn’t seem like the best time to change careers does it?  But for me – for our family – there could not be a better time.  For whatever reason, now, this year, right in the middle of adjusting to parenthood and all that it brings with it, is the time to make a change.  This has been made abundantly clear to me.  I’ve learned that we can’t pick the timing for most things.  We couldn’t choose when Annie was to enter our family (despite our best efforts, which you can read about here)…and yet, her arrival ended up perfectly timed.  I know the same is true for this change in my life.

So I have bid goodbye to the legal profession (I always feel strange saying or writing that – I mean, it’s not like I’m now going into an illegal profession).  And I am saying “hello” to work in the nonprofit sector.  It sounds all Pollyanna and hokey, I know, but for me, there was nothing like having a baby to make me want to do something meaningful with my professional life.  And for me, meaning needs to come from work that directly benefits my community.  The indirect stuff I was doing before just wasn’t enough to justify my dropping my daughter off early every morning at daycare and picking her up late.  It’s one thing to leave your child in someone else’s care so that you can do something that matters to others, matters to you, or, at the very least, is something you like doing.  It’s something else entirely to do that when the work you are doing doesn’t make you happy, generates a disproportionate amount of stress in your life, and leaves you feeling like you’re missing something.  The latter, my friends, was what I was doing.  And I don’t want to do that anymore.

Annie says, "Yay, Mama!"

As has been true of many things in the almost two years since my dad passed away, I have found myself thinking a lot about what he would have had to say about this life change of mine.  My dad never really seemed to mind change - at least that's how it appeared to me.  In fact, it almost seemed as if he welcomed it, so long as it was in the best interest of his family.  He changed careers several times over the course of his adult life and always seemed to use that change as an opportunity to help others.  I know my dad would be proud of what I am doing.  As much as he liked to tell people about his lawyer daughter, I know he would be just as happy to talk about his daughter who works in development for a nonprofit.  He would have handled this change - and the bumps and dips we have experienced to get here - gracefully.  And, with him in mind, so will I.

I am so excited to start this new chapter, and can't wait to see what lies along this road God is taking me - and my family -  down.  And I am so incredibly grateful and thankful for my wonderful, supportive husband who has cheered me on through this whole process, despite the affect it may have on our bank account.

So change, it is a comin'.  It appears the Nobles like to live with the windows open.