“Annie
do!” It’s a new phrase in our
house. Many times it comes immediately
after, “No, Mommy!” As in, “I can do it
myself, Mom. I don’t need your help.” Our girl is exerting her independence more
and more every day. Several times this week, she
attempted to put her socks on by herself.
Last week she tried to get in the bathtub without assistance. She wants to take off her own coat and brush
her own hair. She wants me to know she
isn’t a baby anymore. And boy, do I get
it.
Every
day I feel like more of her babyhood is shed and she becomes more of a child.
And it is both heartbreaking and a source of complete and utter pride
and joy. I have the feeling that this
mix of emotions is something I’m going to feel – oh, pretty much forever. The melancholy feeling of watching my little
girl grow up too fast mixed with the relief of not having to do everything for
her and the excitement of seeing what she is going to become. It’s the perfect little parenting cocktail
right there.
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Discovering her shadow...and finding it pretty unsettling that it kept following her. |
And
being melodramatic like I clearly am, I find myself thinking a lot about Annie’s
future independence as I watch her grow into the toddler version of it. And I think about how our relationship will
change. Fortunately, I am reminded by my
relationship with my own mother that her growing older some day and perhaps
becoming more distant geographically does not necessarily mean she will become
distant from me in other ways.
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Enjoying a roller coaster at her friend Hank's birthday party. |
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Having fun with her buddy Audrey. |
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Cozy-ing up to Gaga. |
But
right now, in the throws of her clingy little tree frog hugs and her utter
delight when David and I think she’s funny or praise her or read her just one
more book, it is hard to think there will be a day when that will be
different. When she rolls her eyes at me
instead of puckers her tiny little mouth to kiss me. When she slams her bedroom door to accentuate
the fact that she’s upset instead of slams it because she thinks the sound is
fun). I know, I know, this isn’t the
stuff of “enjoying the moment” mentality…but the last 19 months have gone so
fast, I can’t help but think the next 19 years have zero chance of slowing
down.
Happy weekend!
Todd became 37 this month. I'm guess you are close to that mile marker as well. I can not being to imagine how that time passed so quickly and how much of my memory has escaped my firstborn. You are so wise to write about Annie's adventures and how you are feeling at each stage of her progressive independence. I am so happy for your joy Sarah.
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